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Vivyi

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Jun 28, 2016
:iconvivyi:Vivyi posted a status
I'm going through a lot of emotional pain, confused feelings, and extreme anti-social / shyness right now. It's a very strange time for me, so I think I need a break from deviant art again. I know I just came back, but it feels almost inhuman to be here right now. I feel a strange disconnect from reality and myself, like an otherworldly feeling.

I think I need some time to reflect on my life. I'm going to contact my therapist and schedule an appointment with her. I am a mess right now, and I need to know why. I feel really strange right now.

Devious Comments

:iconsummer-peaches:
Summer-Peaches Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am extremely sorry that you are feeling this way! You are a beautiful person and deserve nothing but complete happiness. Just know that we are all here for you any time you need us ~ <3 I'm sending my best wishes your way and wishing you a speedy recovery! Just remember that all bad times pass eventually and there is always brightness in the future :D 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much... :huggle: I'm  feeling slightly better after sleeping for a few and grabbing a bite to eat. I stayed up for nearly 2 days, which explains the disconnection part. D: My mood swings are still chaotic, and I'm still full of grief from a certain incident that occurred... I fear I've just lost myself, and I'm still very unhealthy, but I'm reaching out to my counselor and my best friend, so hopefully that will help me get through this until I get things straightened out.
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:iconsummer-peaches:
Summer-Peaches Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's good that you're taking your health into your own hands and are contacting others to help you though!! So many people can't even get to that step, so bravo to you c:

AHH GET SOME MORE SLEEP!!! D: Are you choosing not to sleep or are you unable to sleep? 

As for the grief part, I'm so sorry Huggle! Just remember that as bad as grief is, it always diminishes with time Heart 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I nearly didn't... I'm seeing her in about a week. Definitely feels like it's too long from now, but it's something. I just need to hang on until then.

A combination of the two. I generally don't get tired, lose track of time, and then decide that I'm too worthless and sometimes it gets out of hand when I don't eat or  drink. But if I take a meletonin (sleeping drug), I'm fine and can fall asleep. But I either sleep too little, or I sleep too much, and then suddenly I'm a victim of sleeping for 16 hours, until 4:00 PM, or something. I dunno... my situation's pretty bad.

Let's just say, it was really bad. It's going to take a while before I get over it. I hope you're right, because it seems my grief never leaves.
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:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Get better soon Viv! We all love you here and we understand if you need some time away. Take as long as you need to get better :tighthug: 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you... I've been really out if it as of late. I wrote this after not getting sleep for nearly 2 days. :c And I did contact my counselor, so hopefully having a discussion with her will help.
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:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No problem <3 Oh wow, that's not good. I really hope the counsellor helps you out! :huggle: 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. Yeah, it's just not good in general. I have to be really, really careful - or I'm going to hurt myself.
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:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ah well then yes, definitely be careful :huggle: 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll try. :huggle:
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:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh no!
Well I hope you feel better soon, or figure out what's causing your disconnected feelings, maybe it's because it's so empty here? Either way, good luck! And relax, don't think about anything stressful, do things you enjoy that don't involve technology! Sometimes that help to get away from it
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I think it was because I didn't get sleep for nearly 2 days ^^; I'm really out of it in so many ways. I feel slightly better today, I want to take your advice, but I don't do many things that don't involve technology... (Except read, draw, and occasional journaling, all which I should probably do. ) I did finally muster up the courage to send an email to my counselor, so I'll be going in hopefully soon ^^;
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:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That probably contributed to the low feelings! There's nothing better than sleep after all.
I just went on Pinterest looking for crafts to do to get away from technology and drawing (which isn't making me happy anymore). I am considering crocheting...but really I think talking to a professional will help too! Good luck and I hope you feel a little better soon
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Unfortunately it's a little more complicated than that. ^^; But thank you. I'll try my best. I just need to hang on for a week. I have no idea how I'll survive, but I'll try.
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