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:iconvivyi:Vivyi posted a status
Honestly guys, I try to draw, but I'm just too articulate. I just pick apart everything, and I just can't get myself to get it to look good. I'm floundering in frustration at how massively horrid my art skills actually are. It's just not good enough, at least right now. I'm too busy to actually try to make it better.  

Wip Drawings by Vivyi
I know I'm a positive person, but it's been like this for a long time. I feel like I lost the ability to draw, and I don't know what to do. I can still graphic design very well, but my drawing skills feel... vaguely unaccountable, like it doesn't even matter in my life anymore. Is it possible that I have completely lost passion for something I used to love?

And I'm still incredibly passionate about writing, but I feel afraid that I have completely lost hope in myself as an artist. Art used to be a major part of my life, and now it's been replaced by writing. 

I feel like because I have a disability, I cannot draw. I know that is false, but I feel like I mix up my eyes, and my facial structures, and my ability to read perspective is not possible naturally. I can do intuitively, if I simply just let myself dig in and find it mentally. But I try to get a reference, and all of the suddenly - it's very hard for me to pin point where things go.

And I think it's because I have a visual spatial disorder, but I'm not entirely sure. I don't even want to cross that road, I don't even want to find out. It would hurt too much to know. I do have a mathematical disorder, which makes it hard to calculate arithmetic. But I don't know if that same disorder, works for art as well. Possibly, certain parts of art. 

And the strange thing is, I've been thinking about this for quite a while, and it's been really affecting my passion for art. My writing goals have also, in a sense, affected my passion for art. 

I would like to start a comic. I would like to use my art skills in a way that is good for my future. The issue is, I no longer believe I have those skills as an artist, that could be used professionally in the future. I have completely lost hope in my artistic ability, and it's because I think I can't get past my disability.

I can still graphic design. I can still write. I can still do the other things I am most passionate about. But for some reason, I am losing my artistic drive. I am losing the passion to draw. 

And I just need help... I need to know why I am losing it, and how to gain it back, before it's too late.

Devious Comments

:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I don't think your art is that bad <3 And if you feel writing is overtaking art, then let it! I went through a similar thing but in reverse, and I think it's better to let your creative spirit do what it wants rather than fighting it and making things worse for yourself. Art will come back into the picture when it's ready! ^^ Sometimes you just need phases of focusing on certain things, it doesn't mean you've lost your passion :)
I hope you feel better soon :tighthug: 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Edited Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww thank you :huggle: I'm just being a super self-critic, don't mind me! haha

It honestly is, and has for several months now. This is probably the longest writing chain I've ever had. 

Right now, I have barely drawn since  June, and I don't know why. It's just steadily getting less frequent. I have not drawn seriously since March. I'm too focused on writing. Right now, this month is HUGE for me having breakthroughs in writing. I've not written so holistically since I wrote Netheron in 2013.

*edits this because I feel like a fool* Well, honestly, just forget about half of the things I spout in this comment.... 
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:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No problem :huggle:
But that's awesome that writing is going so well! It sounds like you're making a lot of progress!
And ah sorry haha I had to go to dinner XD I'm sure it wasn't foolish c:
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle: It's going truly great! It's pretty incredible <33

lol it was just me rambling on about writing, is all... though I admit I did it rather eccentrically ^^; One of these days, I will need to show you my new obsession... reading articles from Medium! <33
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:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's awesome! <333 
Haha it's okay! I wouldn't have minded XD And ooooh okay, yes! <33
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahh sorry, I've been a bit paranoid lately. I can Skype you about it as well when I get the chance. I need some advice. For now: sleep. XD
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:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's all good ^^ And haha okay sounds good :)
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