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What's Done is Done

Sun Dec 25, 2016, 8:49 PM
What's done is done... everything Netheron related has been taken down on here. I knew from the start, I should have approached things more professionally than I did. I knew from the start, that I was only going to get into the same mess that I always find myself in. I'm going to learn from my mistakes, and truly mold Netheron into something special.

However... much of it will not be here, no longer. I'm going to take advantage of a forum I found a while back called "Gay Authors" who take gay writing to a serious level. Much of my work will be dedicated to molding into publishable content, and I may find a few magazines to publish my content into as well. The second-to-final cover, which I will show you here:

Drethathon (Netheron Chronicles #1) Cover by Vivyi

Is going to be roughly what I think the book cover should look like. I wanted a mixture between gothic, gritty, and mystical, even though I felt there's a certain level of steampunk in my tale as well. 

As usual with myself, I'm doing a lot of research into writing covers, and drawing pictures that  could pass for a young adult novel. Although my style is generally gritty in it's own way, the cartoon aspect of it, can only be used for children's books or comics, and that's not what I want to do. 

If you're wondering why my gallery is empty... I do think about leaving dA everyday. I've felt a lot of anger built up over time. How famous everyone else is. How undercut I am. How... no matter how hard I try, I fall behind everyone else each time. And certain people, ignore me because they're sick of me. And I've become a toxic person, because I've let myself.

Every so and so, I need to reinvent myself. I will still be Vivienne Cecelia Waltzer, but a new type of Vivienne. This time, Vivienne Cecelia Waltzer will be my name in reality as well. I will breath Vivienne Waltzer, I will live Vivienne Waltzer, I will be Vivienne Waltzer no matter what it takes - because she gives me the courage and strength to go on. And I will remember who Vivienne Waltzer is to me. (A kind, passionate, and true artist... a confident, loving person.)

I will never blur the lines between Vivienne Waltzer, and SB ever again. Because there are barriers between them, that make it a threat to myself when they are connected. However, I will use the personality of Vivienne C. Waltzer, with myself so that I may express myself differently than I've been doing.

This goes to a deeper connection than just a fake personality, of a false connection. Vivienne, is me. She's just a different type of me. A better me. A more insightful one. And it helps to trick my brain into being her, because she's saved me plenty of times.

Before I begin to sound crazy, just know that a lot has been happening in my life as of late. I've cried on Christmas eve... and Christmas day I was just as upset. Wondering. Hoping for the future. Wondering if there's even such a thing. 

I'll still be working on the prequel, but I don't know if I'm coming back. No reception, means no interest, and no reception means I have to keep working hard to create something likeable. 

If anyone is still interested in the project, just send me a note. If you're still wanting to see my short stories, I can send you info. But only if you really care and don't want to see this project die. I don't want to say nobody does, but I think that's the case. 

I'll still be on my other social medias, and I'll be updating my site. I'll just be gone from here. 

If you'd like to stay in contact, send me a PM with your skype or gmail. <3

Add a Comment:
 
:iconravenviolet777:
ravenviolet777 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I've been feeling the same way about DA for a while, especially since my stuff is no longer as popular here as it once was, and has never been very popular at all :(
I feel like my friends on here think I've been ignoring them, but please know I haven't! I've just been ignoring this site!

Please don't give up on Netheron or yourself - it's such a beautiful project!
I'll DM you on another site to ask though, so you don't have to return here to see messages ✨
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle: I'm sorry you can relate. I've been through this sort of thing 2 times now, and what I always seem to do is A) Disappear for a long time B) Come back and change my page / username C) Come in with a clean attitude and perseverance to do more. 

I understand, trust me! I hope nobody thinks I'm ignoring them either. A lot of my problem was mental. 

:tighthug: I won't, trust me! I admit, I nearly did before - but I talked myself out of it, and started it up again like 3 days afterwards. My love for the project is just too much XD
Reply
:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm sorry to hear you feel that way, but I also understand that dA can do this to people, it should have it's own syndrome I think. The trouble does indeed start when you start looking around at others and falling into the old Pit of Despair - I've been on here for 11 years and have fallen into the pit a bunch of times, but then I think 'well I like doing what I do and as long as there are a few people who appreciate that, then I'll keep gong' - of course there will be people and topics more popular for whatever reason (sometimes unknown reasons to be honest!) but gathering your own little community of friends kinda makes it worth it I think.

In the end, whatever you feel will make you happier (or less unhappy) is your choice to make, dA tends to have this negative affect on people and it's saddening when they all start leaving, but they end up happier (or so I have come to believe) - and you know, you can always come back if you feel like it
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: First off, thank you for taking the time to even write this. A lot of it,  I think... was in my head, the reason that I nearly left. I think I was blind by my own emotions and feelings, and it caused me to nearly give up on everything. But I really thank you for showing the respect and courtesy to share this with me. It really does help.

I've been missing dA since I've been away, and this is not the first time I've done this. Whenever I get it into my head that I'm underappreciated by everyone - including my friends, I feel like I must shut myself out of people's lives, because my own mental health is in a state of disarray. When I take the time away, it really does clear my head. Taking a week off from dA, really helped me to ground myself, and learn to appreciate what I have.
Reply
:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You might not see this but I'm going to start with the positive and say that I'm glad you found a good forum for your stories, and that I really love that cover!
I do understand why you feel you need to leave, dA can be a difficult place to be, and if you feel you need time to leave, then definitely take that time :hug: I'm sad to hear that your holidays weren't good, that's really a shame and I truly hope things get better for you soon. And I'm usually around on Skype too so message me any time if you want to talk or rant or anything like that <3 (Skype's been messing up lately for me though XD) 
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I did see this, and I'm very thankful for you to talk to me through skype. That was very sweet of you :heart: Yes, the forum turned out to only be heavily "gay men" fiction. I was thoroughly disappointed XD So I hanged around my rather empty wattpad instead XD

:huggle: I did leave for a full week due to real life occurances, but I think I'll be staying here low-key. Which means partial activity. Right now it's mainly setting up my page again. And I definitely will be more proactive about skyping you and others when I feel I need to talk :heart: For now, my mental health is the most important thing in my life... so I'm trying to live the least-stressful life I can. XD
Reply
:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're very welcome <3 Oh wow really? That sucks! Dang it forum XD But yeah I mean you never know, Wattpad could turn out to be a hidden gem. 
:huggle: I'm glad you'll still be lurking around haha :D Take all the time you need, your health is the most important thing! Oh whoops I just read the next line and you wrote exactly that - so hey you've already got it down :D Definitely, stress-free is the way to go! 
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
The sad thing is there's no Lesbian fiction forums >< Or just LGBT in general. I tend to focus more on the  community as  a whole, and would be sad if there was no site for it XD Haha, yeah >w< There's actually some pretty good reads on Wattpad, but it does require a significant amount of digging and open-mindedness  XD

Lurking around, and maybe even talking with others eventually :D I'm trying to be more careful with my words as well... and trying not to act on impulses. Think first, then act. 

Indeed :D
Reply
:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
There ISN'T? That's really crazy :o I'm really surprised actually.
Haha yeah I guess it would be easy to find at least a couple of good ones? XD It's a big site I suppose :D 
Haha well that's always good ^^ I definitely need to learn to do that too! 
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
The closest I could find is Absolute Write, a forum which has it's own LGBT subforum. I think that site is actually pretty decent, and I'll probably end up joining it. XD It's active, has a good moderating system, and is just small enough just to get noticed. 

Haha yeah, I've been trying XD I'm trying not to listen to my impulses :'D Easier said than done.
Reply
:iconarasteia:
Arasteia Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ah okay, I see. That's good if you think it could be decent! Even better if it's small, active and has good mods! Sounds like a good set-up for a tight-knit community! 
Yeah fair enough, I'm sure you'll make it though :huggle: 
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
It sounds pretty promising I think!

Hahaha yep XD I think I have <333
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(1 Reply)
:icontakarayuuki:
TakaraYuuki Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2016  Student General Artist
I've just sent you a note, I hope you see it, and I'm sorry if it's rambly or preachy, I'm just worried for you :hug:
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle: I got your note, and I just wanted to let you know, I'm doing better since then... but I'm staying low key.
Reply
:icontakarayuuki:
TakaraYuuki Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Student General Artist
Aw, I'm so glad you're feeling better :tighthug: I hope the new year treats you better :)
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle: Thank you <33 And it has... my life has improved by a lot. :love:
Reply
:icontakarayuuki:
TakaraYuuki Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Student General Artist
I'm so happy to hear that :hug:
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle: I hope my year  continues to go well.
Reply
:icontakarayuuki:
TakaraYuuki Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2017  Student General Artist
I hope so too :tighthug:
Reply
:iconsummer-peaches:
Summer-Peaches Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is very sad to read :( I'm sorry you didn't have a better holiday ;__;
It's ultimately your choice, of course, but I would be very sad to see all your hard work disappear ~ Heart Don't be too hard on yourself or compare yourself to other artists on here. Remember to always have fun first Hug 

Best wishes! I hope you stay on dA Huggle! 
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle: I'm happy to say I'm returning eventually... I'm staying low-key for now, for the sake of my mental health. XD I couldn't stay away from you all for very long. :huggle: Sorry about my major blow up... real life issues got in the way... and I don't want that to happen again... so I'm being careful for now, until I'm fully recovered. :)
Reply
:iconsummer-peaches:
Summer-Peaches Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahhh Viv, I'm so happy to see this message from you!!! Heart Hug :happybounce: I was already missing you horribly!! Love 
take all the time you need, but I'm thankful you're not leaving forever </3 I would miss you!! Heart 
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:tighthug: I honestly missed you too! And pretty much everyone else XD I had at least 4-5 people skype me within a week with concern. I felt really bad :'D I think my problem, whatever it was - is pretty much gone. A lot of it was mental, as I've said above. I won't go into detail, but it was pretty rough XD It helps to sort of ground myself. xD

I'm thankful too :heart: But I just can't leave... you all are too important to me :huggle:
Reply
:iconlostandfounding:
LostandFounding Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Awh :'c I'm here if you need ANYONE to talk to :heart: I don't want to see your project die. Please keep posting your work! :heart:
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Send me a PM my way... if you still want to, that is.  I've got a lot on my plate, that needs to be heard. An open mind is all I ask right now... so if you have that, please send it.  :c
Reply
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December 25, 2016
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