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Confused, strange, and perplexing. Three words to describe Estelle Mari Violetta, the princess of Netheron. Always she cut her hair unusually short… equally leaving it into a braided bun. Such hair was pampered constantly, and some of the hair remained outward, curling like multiple rings of fire. Her skin porcelain pale. Her throat quivering. Her unusually emotional, high pitched tone reading out loud her favorite book. With utmost confidence, she turned the page with a smile. Many deemed her overly emotional, overly confident, and equally cocky. But she was a real softie, deep inside.

Estelle loved reading. Relished in it. But the problem was, she ran out of content to read on that faithful day. Books about cooking, art, and literature were nice... but because she was an inventor, she secretly relished for the books that men would be found reading. Books like constructing, scientific documentaries, or books about love... love from all sorts of perspectives! Something within her... hungered for knowledge... the secret kind- the kind that not many people knew. That was the start of her adventures into seeking a new beginning. The beginning of forbidden knowledge.

Netheron had an unusual law residing on the aspect of books. Although Netheronians believed in equality for all... her mother mainly ruled the throne and she had a rather  strange belief that some books were harmful for ladies. A long time ago, she’d locked many of the books all up in the Capital City of Netheron and called it “The Forbidden Library.” Poets, theater books, psychologies, scientific discoveries, romance novels, same sex literature, ancient text, and documentaries were just some of the contents which were locked up. The rest- the books about earth, the guides to building rocket ships and anything Netheron related in history- were found and burned by the revolution... much to the queen’s distaste. In their defense, Huerta didn’t need these books, because they would never visit earth again, anyhow... and no one needed to know about it, especially after the destruction of the ozone layer. But her mother knew books about Netheron’s history were important, so she’d locked away the remaining books into the Netheron royal library and closed it off to the public, much to the people’s dislike.

The Netheron royal library in itself, was completely separate from the Forbidden library. The Forbidden Library didn’t allow minors into it’s establishments, making it a place of controversial topics. Men and woman alike were let in- but only under certain circumstances, and those who didn’t meet the requirement usually were rich and paid their way in, much like the princess herself.

The princess was an avid reader. Her heritage as far back as they made it, always double crossed with books and literature. Princess Estelle had quickly realized the beauty of reading, and one day sent herself on a quest to the forbidden library, in order to read literature she’d always wanted to get her hands on... ever since then, she’d craved little more than to read literature from the forbidden library, verses her own royal library. She was a frequent guest at the place, and collected several novels of old documentaries of ancient Netheronian inventions, as well as many other books at her disposal. She collected the best and the worst from the collection- and if anyone bothered to talk about her, she paid them to keep quiet.

She was confused because she always knew there was something different about herself. She had yet to fall in love with anyone, and her parents were pressuring her to marry a man. They all were jerks, and never once made her feel anything, so she’d always found ways to chase off the arranged marriage. No matter how handsome they looked- she didn’t care for them. She hardly knew what made a man handsome. Her parents talked about marriage and children and the all in between- but Estelle didn't want anything to do with it.  Although she was a princess, and it was her duty- the idea of getting that close to someone... irked her considerably. She still desired a romantic relationship... but she knew it was hopeless, so she’d branded off all ideas of romance considerably, knowing it was best to protect herself.

Her feelings towards women were also questionable- although Estelle never considered it and repressed it thoroughly- sometimes looking at Marcilyn, her best friend... gave her a weird feeling in her heart. It wasn't just Marcilyn she got this feeling towards- though it was rare, she felt it towards some of the other females outside of her relatives, that came to visit. She couldn’t describe the sensation- it was much too foreign to her... so she’d always wanted to check it out at the forbidden library and read documentaries about it.

She felt it too with boys, but much smaller and less significant. She could easily ignore the feelings if they didn't matter to her too much. Many of the men or boys that she had met, always desired children and offspring, and Estelle didn't want this sort of “luxury” as they would call it. If anything, the “luxury” was just what people did to fit in. It just wasn't her cup of tea. And many, many people did not realize it, but it irritated her more than anything.

She never had any urges to get too intimate with someone... and especially not Marcilyn, who she considered her best friend. She never had the urge to become too bonded with a man, to the point of where they decided to want children from her (Estelle thought she was much too young for this anyway, but the thought clearly disgusted her. ) She quickly researched it all at the royal library, but it had come up as an empty search. That was why the forbidden library was so much better...

She never wrote about the feelings, never talked about them- knowing her mother would blow a fuse if she even found out Estelle’s fixation on the subject. She was a princess... and she shouldn’t be having those feelings in her heart towards girls- should she? Why didn't she want to have children and bear a family like anyone else? It kept her up at night, reading volume after volume in her room alone, hungry  for more information... it was never enough. What was wrong with her? Was there anything wrong with her? Why was she so... different?

One day, Estelle was reading a same sex novel from the Forbidden Library. She was so focused on the text, she didn't notice the door slightly opening. Marcilyn barged into her room, hastily shouting at the top of her lungs, “Estelle, Priscilla needs you-” and then she stopped.

She paused and saw the book in her hands. Estelle crunched up in the shoulders, attempting to hide the book, but Marcilyn recognized the tag from the book- a little plain stamp that said “Property of the Forbidden Library” and gasped.

“Estelle! I had no idea you enjoyed such...” Marcilyn paused as Estelle hide behind the book in embarrassment. It was big enough to cover her face, and Marcilyn yanked it from her grasp, reading the description of it and blushing.

“Why do you read such luxuries?” Marcilyn asked. “And you didn’t invite me into it? I’ve always wanted to read a forbidden book....”

Estelle paused, thinking. She wasn’t expecting such a reaction... not one like this from Marcilyn. She’d expected Marcilyn to run off and tell Priscilla what she’s been reading- or worse... tell her parents. But Marcilyn was just as curious as her!

“Where is your collection?” Marcilyn asked. “There’s so much I want to know from the forbidden library...”

“Under-neigh my bed… in my closet...” Estelle told her hesitantly. “My parents never bother to check.”

Estelle cringed as Marcilyn shut the door and locked it, in order to check out all of her books. She could feel her heart begin to race as she went over every single one and read all of their titles.

“Oh wow... you have all sorts of good documentaries on science! And a lot of ancient documentaries on Netheron’s finest technology! Not to mention the controversial topic of same sex relationships...” Marcilyn paused, frowning. “I’m confused why you would have those, though.”

“It’s a long story...” Estelle told her. “And that’s not a bad thing, is it?”

“By golly, no. Those books are hardly banned in Heneurock...” Marcilyn told her. “Heneurockers are the only nation in all of Huerta who tolerates same sex documentary and fiction, and they are also the leads in the scientific discovery of such. You didn’t know that?”

“Some of these books must be from Heneurock then...” Estelle told her. “My stupid mother and her stupid laws...”

“Why do you read such content?” Marcilyn asked. “Your future husband would never allow it... you know that!”

She shook her head, slightly irritated.

“It’s not important...” Estelle told her. “But if you ever want to join me in the library, we should definitely come down together at some point in time, and read some documentaries on it.”

“That sounds like fun...” Marcilyn told her. “Let’s re-hide all of these books and go down there at night when everyone’s asleep. I heard it opens for twenty four hours a day, right?”

“Right. It does...” Estelle told her. “Let’s do it tonight at midnight...”

“It’s a date,” Marcilyn laughed. Estelle felt goosebumps on her arms. “Now... about Priscilla..”


Marcilyn lead her to Priscilla, but it was only a small trivial matter that didn’t need a lot of time. As quickly as the problem was solved, the night came among them... and Estelle and Marcilyn agreed to meet each other by the back entrance at eleven thirty. They would be traveling by carriage to the capital city of Netheron. Estelle would bring a small sum of money with her in a pouch purse, in order to pay for her expenses of the books she’s stolen from the library, and to pay people to be quiet about their visit.

Estelle realized quickly how much she desired for the one book that gave her understanding of her thoughts. Every book about romance she’d ever read... she’d never understood properly. She also never understood how love truly was... or what this feeling in her heart was all about. The same sex couple books she had read, weren’t the same type Marcilyn talked about... they were deeply intimate and sometimes shocking, and Estelle didn’t feel her feelings reflected the nature of the book. The opposite sex couple books she’d read from the library, were equally as intimate as the other and sometimes absurd, and Estelle realized she didn’t feel this way either. She never felt satisfied reading these books on such touchy subjects... if anything: she felt icky reading such books. But it was a necessary evil in order to resolve her conflicts within herself, and why she didn’t desire children, or to be close to someone. She wanted to know what exactly the feeling felt like... even if she’d never experienced it.

Marcilyn and Estelle traveled through the dark. There was little lighting other than what was lit by Kerosene lanterns, and Estelle brought her own lantern with her, and extra fuel if she needed it. It was covered by advanced heating devices, so it was brighter than normal, courtesy of an invention by her own mother, who wanted kerosene lamps instead of light bulbs for atmospheric reasons. Estelle found her reason incredibly selfish and misplaced, and her mother had banned the book of electricity as well, that Estelle had long since added to her stash. Their castle was lit by light made from her mother’s power. Her mother could harness light like a good witch, but she was far from good in terms of her ruling.

Marcilyn drove the horses with the instructions of the princess, and they parked their carriage in the side of the road by the shady looking library building. It was tall and dark, with what seemed to be made out of bricks. It was hard to see the color of the bricks- and it was much too dark to see the rooftop, but it had a slanted metal roof. Estelle grabbed her lantern and the two of them headed toward the building, eager to find some knowledgeable reads.

As they entered the building, the old librarian looked up at them. He had ratted white hair, a big ugly nose, and small eyes.

“Fancy seeing you again, my princess,” The old librarian told her. “I see you’ve brought a friend.”

“Yes, me and Marcilyn Locket are here to browse your collection of same sex literature,” Estelle told him. “I’ve come to pay for the books I’ve taken, as well as a little token of appreciation...” The princess gave him the cash, and he grinned.

“I see. I’ll keep quiet about your little misadventure, then, and your servant’s,” The librarian laughed.

Marcilyn huffed, but said nothing. Estelle knew Marcilyn hated being called a servant.

“By any chance, where would you find books about lack of attraction?” Estelle asked the librarian.

“Right next to the section on attraction is a book about the documentary of different types of relationships. It’s a book titled ‘The Analogy of Attraction.’ and it’s written by a most profound Heneurocker psychologist,” replied the librarian. “I will lead you to it, my princess.”

Marcilyn and Estelle were lead to the section, and he got a ladder to reach up high and take the book down. It was a hefty book: though Estelle did not mind this, a hefty book was as good as any if it could answer her questions.

“And what sort of book as you looking for, Ms. Locket?” The librarian asked.

Marcilyn thought about it for a moment before giving a grin.

“I want a book written by a Heneurocker that indicates proof about a person who can fall in love with either a man or a woman...” Marcilyn told him. “I was curious about this discovery since I was a kid.”

“Quite curious indeed. There’s a whole section of those books, but the one I recommend is the author Lenn Weedlewood. He was a Heneurocker who wrote a book called ‘Love from Both Sides,’” said the librarian.

He lead Marcilyn to the section. Estelle and Marcilyn both met up by the lounge area and sat down, nosing into their books, just as the librarian left to retreat to his spot by the counter. Estelle hungrily scanned through the book, realizing quickly how desperate she had been for a book like this. She looked at the year, realizing it was a relatively new book from the library. She looked at the edition, and realized it was a newer edition.

As she read it through, she stopped at one line.

There are some people who do not feel sexual desires.

She paused, attempting to understand this line. What was sexual desires? Why did it matter to her? She kept reading...

These people are known as frigid and cold by their significant others. There are some who are highly sex repulsed... leaving little consideration for their significant others, not for another man or woman, but for the fact that they do not want a sexual relationship that involves any contact by any sexual means.

Estelle paused, staring at the last line. These experiences sounded just like her! But she still had some questions that needed to be answered. She wanted to take this book home and read it, and hoped that her parents wouldn’t find it. She looked up at Marcilyn, who was reading her own book.

“This is interesting...” Marcilyn said. “There’s mentions of a term called ‘Bisexual’ that I’ve never heard of before...”

“Bisexual?” Estelle asked. “What in the world does that mean?”

“Attraction to a man and a woman alike,” Marcilyn told her. “But in this definition, it’s not at the same time... they somehow switch depending on who you’re attracted to...”

“Why are you so curious on bisexuality anyway?” Estelle asked. “It’s not like you’ve ever had a crush on a girl.”

Marcilyn blushed at this.

“It doesn’t mean I’ve never found girls to be cute...” Marcilyn told her. Estelle paused, and her heart thumped again, and she bit her lip to attempt to stop the sensation.

“Everyone finds girls to be cute,” Estelle defended. “I’ve always found you to be cute, for instance. It’s a normal sensation.”

“You’re the only girl who’s ever said that to me...” Marcilyn told her. ‘All the other girls tell each other, ‘Oh look at that man... he’s so handsome!’ Don’t you ever get sick of that?”

Estelle’s heart was on fire.

“Of course I do. I’ve never bothered. But it’s strange Marcilyn- I think I’ve found the answer to all of my problems in this book...” Estelle told her.

They paused and Estelle flicked to the pages she was at. Marcilyn read it over, shocked.

“That does sound like you...” Marcilyn told her. “You’ve always complained about marriage and kids. It doesn’t have a name though...”

“You truly don’t think of me as frigid or cold, do you?” Estelle asked.

“Of course not. You’re as full of sunshine and light as anyone else,” Marcilyn told her. “I think this book is trying to define you as cold in the sense that in marriageable situations, you very much don’t want someone to get too close to you, so you shove them away. It’s why you haven’t bothered to marry anyone, because they all want to bear your child.”

“What about you, Marcilyn? You’re always talking about how much you hate attending parties, because all the girls talk about is boys. Haven’t you dated a boy before?”  Estelle asked.

“Yes... and he completely betrayed me,” Marcilyn told her. “Ever since then, I’ve been repressing my feelings for boys. I don’t want anything to do with them. And I don’t just hate parties because of gossip, I also hate them because I get so nervous at the females... I get all hot and sweaty when they offer to dance with me as a joke... and it makes me so irritated...”

Estelle was shocked.

“So you like girls, then?” Estelle asked. “And not boys?”

“I like both...” Marcilyn told her. “But not at the same time.”

Estelle choked up inside. Marcilyn... was bisexual? Like her book said? She started to blush a lot. If Marcilyn could love a girl... what about her?  What did she love? A boy? But she hated all of those boys her mother gave her... and if she felt those heartbeats towards girls... did that mean?

Oh dear god no. It couldn’t be. She liked... girls? Was it true? Did she really like Marcilyn that way? Could she like Marcilyn that way? And if so... how much? She paused.

There was no way she could tell Marcilyn. She couldn’t risk Marcilyn being kicked out of the kingdom by her mother. None the less, her being thrown into confinement for a week in order to brainwash the feelings out of her, like her mother always insisted for those who liked the same gender. She gulped. What a mess they had gotten into.

“Are you okay, Estelle?” Marcilyn asked. “You look pale.”

“I’m fine...” Estelle managed a gulp. “I’m just worried about what my parents would do to you, if they found out you were bisexual...”

“I’ll be fine.” Marcilyn told her. “It’s just a label, and it doesn’t need to be said. This might be the Netheron tradition to lock people away, but they have no right to do that to a Heneurocker, because in Heneurock, it is allowed to be with the same gender. I’ll just run away to Heneurock if they catch me.”

“Well... I guess that’s alright... although I would not want it...” Estelle told her. “I really want to keep you around, you know?”

Estelle heard the door open. She heard a voice much like her mothers negotiating with the librarian. She paused, listening to the voice. It got closer and closer with every step, until the voice became more dominant. It was definitely her mother.

Estelle froze as Marcilyn grabbed Estelle and they each hid behind a curtain. Estelle heard the voice of her mother asking the librarian for their book supply. She heard her mother walk through the library to a different section. The closeness between her and Marcilyn caused her heart to accelerate.  She tried hard not to shake with nervousness, but her body quivered. Her mother got closer.

The window next to them was open. Marcilyn motioned her to jump out of the window with her books. Marcilyn jumped first and ran out of view, but before Estelle could jump, she felt a hand touch her, and she turned around to stare at her mother.

“Estelle... what an inconsiderate thing for you to do,” Her mother told her. Estelle gulped, tightening her collar.

“I’m sorry mama...” Estelle told her. “I’m a curious girl.”

“As you always are.” The queen agreed. “But what exactly are you doing in the psychology section?”

Estelle hid the book title away from her. She held her head high as she said,

“None of your business. It's official inventor business, and Drusilla wouldn't want you to find out,” Estelle told her.

“Yes, and although Drusilla regularly reads the library, I assume you've granted yourself freedom here through my money?” The queen asked. “I've seen what you've done with your allowance. Much of it disappears to this library- doesn't it?”

Estelle huffed.

“What do you know about education?” The princess asked.

“More than you will ever find out,” The queen said. “Now give me the book.”

Estelle clutched the book in her hands tightly, full of anger. She shook her head violently.

“Give me the book,” The Queen of Netheron repeated.

It was the only book she’d known that could describe how she felt.

“No,” Estelle said. “I won’t.”

“And why not?” The queen asked.

“Because I finally found the one thing to describe me...” Estelle told her. “I’m not suitable for children. I refuse to marry. You can’t force me to marry a man. I don’t want to go through the process of children- the idea of going through that disturbs me...”

Her mother gave a slight chuckle.

“You’ve always been a stubborn one. You’ll grow out of it. Now give me the book.”

“No,” Estelle repeated. “I will not.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to let you go...” Her mother told her. She stood out of the way for Estelle to hesitantly walk away from her, then grabbed Estelle by the arm and twisted it. Estelle dropped to the floor, in pain, and the book fell with it, and her mother picked it up. She used her magical abilities to burn it.

Estelle got up. She stared at the book while it burned, wondering where Marcilyn was at. Perhaps she sensed something was wrong and had left immediately. She hoped so.

“That... that was the only copy they had!” Estelle shouted. “How dare you- you...”

“Witch?” Her mother asked. “I am only trying to protect you from the evil of this world. There are people who will plant dirty ideas into your head, and take your innocence away. I will not allow for my daughter to be corrupted with these foolish... ideas. You will never be allowed to return here, not while I’m in charge.”

“You can’t keep me away from here, and you know it...” Estelle told her. “I will find a way to return. In Heneurock, knowledge like this is acceptable. Why do you ban such knowledge from me? I bet the Heneurock princess can read it!”

“Where do you get this foolish idea? Who told you this?” The queen asked.

“No one in particular,” Estelle lied. “But why did you come here, then? You weren’t originally here for me, were you.”

“I came here to rightfully return a collection of books I found the king reading,” The queen told her, frowning. “I was not expecting to find my own daughter pawing through the psychology section. You two are very alike.”

“Right. But you can’t use magic to make me forget, because I’m immune to most magical spells... I am your half-ling daughter after all,” Estelle said with a grin. “The only way you’d be able to use magic on me, is if I wanted it.”

“Then I will find other ways to make you pay for your crimes,” Her mother told her. “We will search your room for any books from the library, and burn all of them.”

“You wouldn’t dare...” Estelle told her. “I have many great books hidden in places you’ll never find.”

The queen gave a cocky grin, and tugged her against her will to the carriage. Estelle frowned, realizing Marcilyn had taken the lantern with her into the other carriage. Her mother used a brighter lantern than hers, as she carried her into the royal carriage and brought her home.

The ride back was miserable and lonesome, and Estelle hated every moment of it. She wanted to be by Marcilyn’s side, reading her book that she had managed to carry in her arm. It seemed like such an interesting book, that one. But hers had been far more interesting.

The creepy darkness was getting to her after all. The castle was already in view, but it seemed fairly spooky despite the bright lights her mother had placed around the place with her own magical capabilities. Estelle sighed, as her mother tugged her to her chambers and told her to wait outside while Estelle watched all the books be personally burned.

But she didn’t just burn the books it seemed. With her magic, she managed to light everything on fire except for the walls. Estelle watched with a gaping mouth as everything became lit- even her clothes.

“My clothes! My books! My bed!” Estelle cried out. “How could you do such a thing!”

Her mother chuckled sadistically, wielding her staff. Estelle got a good look at her majestic cape and poofy dress. She looked relatively young for having white hair- in her thirties. But she looked younger than that- twenty.

“We’ll replace your clothes and your bed... but never your books,” The woman told her. “I will get the contractors to replace your room and your belongings. In the meantime, you may sleep in one of the guest rooms.”

“What am I supposed to wear?” Estelle asked. “You burned every single piece of clothing I had!”

“You will have to make due with your cousin Meyhra’s clothing,” The Queen of Netheron told her. “I’m sure she’ll find the opportunity most exciting.”

Before she could say another word, the middle aged queen extinguished the fire, and left the room, leaving Estelle fuming.

Estelle decided if she was going to sleep anywhere, it might as well be in the servant’s chamber next to Marcilyn’s room. She checked Marcilyn’s room to find her sleeping with the covers off the bed. She repressed the urge to wake her up and tell her the news, but she was glad she had gotten away while she could still chance it.

She walked into the room. The bed looked uncomfortable, though not quite as uncomfortable as the lower servant’s beds. She shrugged, jumping into it. Maybe she could borrow some clothes from Marcilyn, though her mother would never allow it- she hated Marcilyn’s style. She was lucky her inventing clothes weren’t located in her bedroom, otherwise she’d be buying new ones from the store downtown.

She didn’t care what her mother said anymore. Whether she agreed or not- she was borrowing Marcilyn’s clothes until the servants sewed her new dresses. She wanted nothing to do with her cousin.

If her cousin dared to comment on her attire... she’d find a way to make her life miserable.
A story that explores more about Estelle's identity as a Biromantic Asexual, and Marcilyn's identity as Bisexual. I brush lightly some history of Estelle's heritage, alongside some of her history between her and her mother and their rocky relationship.

Initially, I hope it's well written. I've tried to keep Estelle as very "Estelle like" while brushing up against the topic of her asexuality. It's been a while  since I've posted a story, and I will be writing another one soon, and maybe getting it edited by one of the professors at the college. Stay tuned. c:

If you're going to critique, I've got a few questions for you~

1) Is Estelle's asexuality accurate and well written and if you are asexual, do you think her perspectives is very accurate and true?

2) How do you feel about the overall message of the story? Is it too much? Do you think there's things I can change, or do differently?

3) Did you like all of the characters in the story? If not, why?

4) Did you enjoy the story? What did you like or not like about the story, if anything?

5) Any miscellaneous thoughts? Tips for improvement?

You don't have to answer everything, but it's well appreciated c: If you liked the story, be sure to let me know as well! :D I appreciate every comment that I get, so don't be shy! <3333
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:iconobelis:
Obelis Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
1) To me, it was obvious that she is asexual, even though the word was never mentioned directly. My roommate is asexual and some phrases that Estelle said are exactly the same phrases that my roommate has said about asexuality. :nod: To me, it was precise expression.

2) This message is so familiar that it hurts. Children wanting to know more about themselves. Parents who are afraid of them being "abnormal" usually have a bad relationship with studying, often denying obvious facts, forbidding their children to be interested in certain topics. Narrow-minded, cruel parents are those who don't accept their children as they are - that's the message that I got.

3) Estelle is a strong character who charms by her wish for knowledge. 
    Her mother is someone who seems like villain... but I like her strongly expressed personality.
    Marcilyn was expressed a bit weaker, but still we get to know her pretty well.
    And I really like that librarian for being able to joke about such serious situations.

4) I enjoyed it. :nod: It's a rare event to come across enjoyable story on this site... Well, internet literature is often not the same level as printed. However, your story is different: when reading it, I feel like I was reading something that was printed. Something on a level more similar to professional than most stories in this site. And better than some printed books. You have neat writing style: showing enough details, but not too much, balancing action and dialogues well. :thumbsup: 

5) Don't really have any tips... ^^; You're on higher writing level than I am.
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
First off, thank you so much for the critique <33 I really appreciate it a lot!! <33

1) Oh my... that's a huge compliment, thank you. I'm so glad I captured her asexuality well, I was worried. I spent lots of time on this story, and it's still people's favorite XD

2) That's a very interesting, unique message that you've managed to come up with. I can relate to that very well, and I guess that was what I was trying to represent here. I don't remember my original intent, but I just wrote from the heart, I guess.

3) I see :nod: Those are great observations. Marcilyn probably could have used more character development here, that's true XD

4) Oh my gosh :blush: That's the best thing anyone's ever said to me, I swear... and it means so much to me, especially coming from someone who frequents projects on this site. I'm always on the hunt for good stories as well, and I get frustrated when I don't find them. I feel like people shouldn't upload first drafts - but rather just let the story develop. I'm very glad you enjoy my writing <3 It's my goal to entertain and yet educate. And I'm very glad I'm heading in a good direction with my short stories / books. 

5) Awww haha, I see. You'll get there :huggle:
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:iconyellowxgardevoir:
YellowxGardevoir Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
wow really good story and not one grammar mistake in here, you did a wonderful job. Like the two girls and hate the witch, burn the wicked witch.
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much <33 And Hahaha, poor Margarette :') She's not very nice, but she has her reasons. :D Not all witches are bad in this story either <3 Estelle could count as one, but she only has magical defense.  xD
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:iconyellowxgardevoir:
YellowxGardevoir Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
awesome magical defense perfect for bad spell casters.
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe true :D But if Estelle wills it... healing magic can still affect her... and even some other spells too,  but only if she's desperate for them to happen!
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:iconyellowxgardevoir:
YellowxGardevoir Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
wow just perfect how you describe your character. so awesome.
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha thank you :D
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:iconyellowxgardevoir:
YellowxGardevoir Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
your welcome. Love :D (Big Grin) :happybounce: :D (Big Grin) 
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:iconkiwijr:
KiwiJr Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015
I had this one saved since you first uploaded it back in October. I didn't have time then, but I do now :)

As always, it was very well written, I only one thing caught my eye. "Men and woman". Shouldn't it be "Women"? :)

I hate Estelle's mom. Those kind of people are the worse :o
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww thank you for reading <3

Ohhh yes! You're very right! Thanks for catching that~ c: I'll fix it when I upload the second draft of this :D

Yeah, Estelle has a rather rough time with her mother. She's fairly controlling, but deep down inside, still cares for her daughter. It's just a shame she doesn't show it, though, haha ^^;
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:iconkiwijr:
KiwiJr Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015
I had it in my messages alert here in dA, I know how much you care for my opinion, expecially with this subject :)

You're most welcome :aww:


Those who call good things "Evil" are the ones I most despise. How can you write such a despicable woman? :XD:
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahhh yes! I definitely do care for everyone's opinion on this c: Again, thank you loool :XD:

Sometimes a good story calls for a character who's misunderstanding the main character's actions :XD: Margarette is just the type to be highly opinionated and always think she's right lmao :XD:
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:iconkiwijr:
KiwiJr Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015
I would never be able these kind of characters like you do :)
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww thank you <3 c:
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:iconkiwijr:
KiwiJr Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2015
You're very welcome ;)
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:iconlydia-san:
lydia-san Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Viviiiiiiiiiii I just read it!! Oh I love it so much! :D
Soo,, I have a question!!
- Is this the sequel you're talking about? I mean, the prequel? so it's part of Drethathon? Or is it something else?
- In netheron, I guess Estelle's parents have passed away right?
In their defense, Huerta didn’t need these books, because they would never visit earth again, anyhow... and no one needed to know about it, especially after the destruction of the ozone layer --> I'm confused,, so they don't live on earth?

Oh and Critique! Yes!
1) Is Estelle's asexuality accurate and well written and if you are asexual, do you think her perspectives is very accurate and true?
I don't know much about asexuality, but I feel strange that she has feelings towards Marcilyn. I mean, it's not asexual, then? But it's interesting though :)

2) How do you feel about the overall message of the story? Is it too much? Do you think there's things I can change, or do differently?
Tbh I don't really fancy LGBT. But I found many LGBT stories which actually have great plots and beautiful meanings, so I decided to cast aside that perspective; Otherwise I would miss a lot of wonderful stories. In your story,, I focused not in the sexuality of Estelle and Marcilyn, but more like two confused girls in their teen age who try to find out about themselves. And the story became greater, when Estelle is finally able to catch a glimpse of what kind of person she is, and her mother come to take it from her. I think this should be more elaborated in the story :)

3) Did you like all of the characters in the story? If not, why?
I do! Of course I do :D You described them really well.

4) Did you enjoy the story? What did you like or not like about the story, if anything?
I enjoyed it a lot, as always! Especially when Estelle and Marcilyn come down to the library! and how you describe that event between Estelle and her mother is awesome! I really really get the feels!!
But actually at the beginning of the story, I guess there are so many complicated descriptions that makes me want to skip to the good part. I think it would be better if you simplify it, or change the point of view without changing the story idea. For example, in 2nd paragraph, instead of describing Estelle explicitly (Estelle loved reading .....), how about telling a story about Estelle in forbidden library? Screening through the books etc etc. Here goes the love section again. Estelle questioning herself "why am I so attracted with these kinds of books?" and so on and so on. It can bring the reader more to the character's mind and it will become more of a "story" than "description".

5) Any miscellaneous thoughts? Tips for improvement?
Oh,, it's this sentence I guess --> Estelle sighed, as her mother tugged her to her chambers and told her to wait outside while Estelle watched all the books be personally burned. (I'm a bit confused reading it)

Ahh finally!! Hope that helps :)
Nice story Vivi!! :D I gotta read part 2 next time^^
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahhh I'm so glad you like it <33 :glomp:

To answer your questions:

1) This is apart of the prequel. Most of Estelle's relatives aren't even around by the sequel. So yes, it is apart of "Drethathon: The Waterloo of Delicacy" sometimes I forget that my readers haven't actually read the story itself, so I know it'll probably be a little bit confusing in some ways. But this isn't the prequel itself, for the prequel is much longer. (Around almost 30,000 words, and growing)
2) Yep. Alongside a lot of her other relatives (except Drusilla/Priscilla, who does now get a name change in the beginning of the story. This is due to her character arc. ). I might include some of Estelle's cousin's in the sequel and prequel, but as far as I know: that hasn't been decided yet. But it's something for me to think about, because I really do like their characters, and find them to be "fun" sassy characters :XD:
3) This will be explained in far more detail in the prequel. I've also explained it here: Netheron History Overview They are on an alien planet, in an alternate solar system than earth (notably named "Huerta"). But they used to be earthlings a long time ago (back in the 1500s) unfortunately, time moves much slower in Huerta, so they sorta brought themselves back in time to the Victorian era, at the same time with powerful technology beyond anyone's dreams. The earth they know is completely destroyed by people's carelessness, but it was the rain machine that saved them from making the same mistakes, alongside a lot of other technology. I was thinking this when I was writing Netheron, but I never explained it in full detail. ^^;

To answer the answer's you've given me for my questions (:XD: ):

1) Estelle is a Biromantic Asexual, meaning she can have romantic attraction but just not get those tingly sensations to really "go far" with someone. I guess  what I'm trying to ask here, is if I've managed to steer clear away from the sexual attraction aspect. I'm Gray-asexual, so I can still feel sexual attraction in those super rare situations, and I just wanted to know if I did her character right. She's not aromantic at all, really. But she is asexual. I hope that's not too confusing! If you had any specific points of the story you wanted to share to reflect your opinion, please state them. I would like to know what you feel is "iffy."

2) Ah, fair enough. I guess given that there is some bad representation of the community out there, it's sometimes hard to  find some liking to it. I'm in that kind of situation, where I'm always feeling conflicted about my moral values as a devoted Christian, compared to my sexual orientation. We're not all bad, honestly. I'm almost fully a lesbian (though an Asexual one!), which is why I share my thoughts on this. That aside, that is a great point! I had a feeling I needed to improve on something, and I think you honestly nailed it. Thanks for pointing that one out!

3) Aww thank you <333

4) That brings up a great point, actually! I hadn't thought about it until you mentioned that. I'll definitely take it into consideration when I edit this story. c: I was actually wondering if you could read part 3, and maybe help me figure out how to work the ending? It's missing something, and I don't know what. It's terribly confusing, hahaha :XD: I would likely release all of the parts, if I could just work that ending... aaaaargh

5) Oh gosh! I didn't realize that! Thank you for pointing that out, it's much appreciated <33 I'll definitely reword that part.

Oh gosh, it really did! Lydia, you're amazing~ :love:
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:iconlydia-san:
lydia-san Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
1) Oooh... I guess then my lack of knowledge is a hindrance in reading lol. I remembered I've read once about asexual and aromantic (from the links you gave me), but I totally forgot until you mentioned it again. I think you described them right,, although now the problem is if the reader is someone who doesn't have much knowledge about these things (like me for example). Idk if you maybe could put some details to help us understand, which of course, would be better if it becomes part of the story (not just description like I mentioned before). Perhaps when Estelle read books or something...

2) Oh but dont get me wrong Vivi! :D I don't hate LGBT. I once had a best friend too, he was a homosexual, and he told me a lot about his feelings. I know how unfair life is for him, he don't ask for it, and no one should ever judge him because of it. So, I guess I cannot judge ppl either. I was saying that it felt kinda odd for me, since I've never felt that way. It's just like tasting food from different country that really doesn't fit your taste Sweating a little... 

3) :hug:

4) Aaahhh suuuree I wanna read it!! Pls give me the link La la la la 

5) Aweee you're welcome Viv :D

I'm glad I could help! Keep going! :happybounce: 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
1) That's a pretty good idea. I've got it written into the main story that Estelle doesn't want marriage or children, because she's afraid of the process of doing so. I'm just trying to keep my teen rating, because if I go into indepth graphic references of Estelle's dislike for sexual relationships, I might be crossing over into the 18+ territory, verses the 15-16+ rating I'm trying to keep.

2) Ah, I think I understand now. Sorry for the misunderstanding c: Yes, I never asked for what I had for an orientation. I'm also demiromantic on top of it, and I've only techniquely ever fallen in love once, with my best friend (demiromantic = romantic attraction only after becoming close with that person. ) And she liked me back too, but fell out of love with me by the time I realized my feelings. But yeah, when I first found out about my true feelings, I denied myself the right for them because I thought they were wrong. I get what you mean though... even I a long time ago, found myself being a little uncomfortable by lesbian or gay fiction, because I was so insecure about my sexuality, and to this day: I sometimes still share some insecurities.

3) :huggle:

4) I'll send you it on a note since I'm on a different computer right now, and I have to leave in 15 minutes. ^^;

5) <333333

I will! :love:
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:iconlydia-san:
lydia-san Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
1) Ooh.. well, that's kinda tricky then. But I believe in your decision Vivi :D you're a talented writer after all!! Good luck :hug:
2) Aahh yes I understand Vivi :hug: well, as long as you can accept yourself and no longer denying it, I guess everything would be better :hug:
4) I got it! :D
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
1) Thank you :huggle: I appreciate your support c: I'll try my hardest to make it successful!

2) Thank you for understanding <33 I've just had to learn to expect what my sexuality is. Living in denial is hard, and I don't want that for myself. That's why I find it so hard to be in a straight relationship... because that's not my true calling. I just don't have the feelings to go with it half the time, and my partner would never be satisfied with me. Which would most likely mean coming out at one point or another. (which I have technically... I just have to meet more people, hahaha~ )

4) Yaaay~ <333
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:iconlydia-san:
lydia-san Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahahaha it's so complicated Vivi :XD: well, life is.
You know, today I contacted a best friend, telling him about my problems. And he told me to watch Book of Life (I haven't watch it).
And he said, "Everyone will die. But do you have the courage to live?" or something like that. He was encouraging me to get back on my feet and struggle for the next exam ^^ it would be next week.
I was feeling down today because what if I don't pass this one again? I spent too much time, money, and energy for all these and none seems to work out. Well...
Please pray for me Viv :hug: I don't know what to do anymore, I believe prayers can change anything.
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahh, I hear ya :XD: Life can be very complicated sometimes~

I definitely will pray for you, Lydia <3 I have prayed for you before, but I will do it again. You deserve so much more than what people give you, and I believe that discrimination is wrong. You're one of the most amazing people I know <3 Please stay strong and keep going :heart: You have your friends on here to back you up :huggle:

Actually I immediately prayed for you with my family upon receiving this comment. I told them about your situation, and we prayed together about it c: Please stay strong :heart: And worst comes to worse: move to America, because our doctors get payed a lot of money :XD: (Naturally I'm joking... and I know I probably shouldn't joke about this, but I wanted to cheer you up a bit :heart: But it's true. They are very over payed, hahaha )

Just keep going, because you're an amazing person. :heart: I'll pray for you over and over again until God answers our prayers <3 Stay strong! :tighthug:
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2015  Professional Writer
You already know how I feel about this, but I thought I'd leave a comment anyway, just to say I LOVE IT!!! :love: Brilliantly executed work, thanks for sharing with us! :heart: 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww I know, but thank you so much for leaving a comment anyway, I appreciate the support <333 You make me so happy, and you keep me going, thank you! <3333 :love: :glomp:
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2015  Professional Writer
You're so welcome! :tighthug: 
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