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Need You Like Sunshine TOAIW Compilation Excerpt by Vivyi Need You Like Sunshine TOAIW Compilation Excerpt by Vivyi

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*cover not finalized for publication, may undergo more improvements.

*story not finalized, and critiques are ALWAYS appreciated!

Apart of Tales of an Inventing Witch Short Story Compilation Project.

* LGBT, Pg 13 with minor sexual themes. Main character is Bisexual, other character is a Lesbian Asexual. Nothing should be too suggestive... If you feel it is, and it makes you uncomfortable, contact me.

Hey guys!! If you know about my blog I am planning on posting this PDF for free download there as well, but I may only do it by subscription - just to let you know!

This is NOT a finalized draft, but it very much is more polished than it was before, and it will be self-published, hopefully before Drethathon is released!

I am currently mapping out and figuring out the other stories, and I imagine I will have at least 10 or so different stories, but I was thinking more like 11 or 12. 2 will be free samples, and this is one. The other will be a different genre and circumstance, and hopefully not quite as romantic-inspired.

In this story, you might recognize it if you've ever read Lock Me Away Marcilyn Locket  Lock Me Away, Marcilyn Locket...Marcilyn Locket was no good, short, and unfortunately clumsy. Every time the princess assigned her to do a task, Marcilyn handled it in the worst possible way. She'd knocked over equipment, lose Estelle's goggles... and even lost important tools. When it came down to inventing a machine, she'd find herself drawing a blank on planning ideas, and sometimes: she even purposely coaxed the princess for ideas. In the end, she was a complete, utter mess and she knew it.
It seemed ever since Estelle had brought her back to Netheron from the Palace of Henna, Marcilyn knew they'd be great friends. Truth be told, Marcilyn knew Estelle liked having her around. She wasn't much taller than the self esteemed inventor: she stood only around five feet, two inches tall, with a crazy little grin. A grin so peculiar... yet so honest. She was lean and limber: and Marcilyn was secretly envious of her hourglass figure, that the princess flaunted wildly with her charm. The young inventor was only two inches s
 this is the redone version of that.

It is one of my very first "MarciEstellie" fictions, and one of the most honest portrayals of young love I have ever written.

Although I cannot quite match up to the mood of the first (I do love the innocent bliss the original had) I decided I would write Marcilyn's POV instead in order to capture - quite frankly - the emotions behind somebody torn between her feelings, because I needed more emphasis on her struggle.

I also heavily cleaned up imagery, and pushed for a more vibrant show versus tell. So hopefully, the show is more than just 30% lmao

Before this gets too long, allow me to simply say that I am about halfway through the first draft edits of TOAIW, and I still need to add more stories in.

This story in particular has not been checked for grammar or sentence structure.

I would rather have critiques on story content, and first reactions - then I can go ahead and hammer in the grammar and sentence structure. Therefore, please keep in mind that you are free to point out as many grammar and sentence structure errors as you like - but the real meat of what I need, is concrete info about what the characters / setting / plot made you feel, and your reactions. 

I want to know if this makes you feel alive, or if this makes you want to die because it's so awful. ;P I appreciate honesty at ALL times, and you will never offend me if you hate this story - I just want to know why you do, and how you feel I could make it better. I want all sides so I can accommodate and see what needs tweaking.

I will let you know when I am having Beta Reading sign ups for TOAIW. It will likely happen before Duchess of Tears, since these are short stories.
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:iconmissmagicgirl:
missmagicgirl Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2018
Oh this was so beautiful! You create the love and chemistry between them so well and it makes me love those character even more. Heart Wonderful story! 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Aaaa thank you so much :heart: I'm so glad you like the story ;u; I personally love writing about these two... their love is so important to me! <3
Reply
:iconmissmagicgirl:
missmagicgirl Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2018
I know how it is. It is a magical thing as an author to feel the love two characters feel for each other through them both Heart 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
It truly is a wonderful, glorious feeling <3  I love and feel my character's love for each other and that's what makes their bond so strong :heart:
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:iconjohnkasha:
JohnKasha Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Just readed the older story you linked to, and it was very cute. :heart:

I'll check out the redone version later. But just skimmed the author's note, and you mentioned writing only straight characters all the time is getting boring.
I absolutely agree with that! I also love to explore different gender and sexuality in my own works, and just gererally try to be inclusive of a diverse cast. :)
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you <3 I'm very glad you liked the old story too it means a lot! :heart: 

I'm glad you agree! I'm definitely the same way! I love being inclusive of all people while I write my fiction, and I don't shy away from topics that most people would find troubling, such as mental health or disability.

I especially love writing about the LGBT community, because it really hits home to me... and gender is something I want to be a bit more inclusive of as well in the near future. :D
Reply
:icontubi4:
tubi4 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2018
Nice work :D
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much <33 :huggle:
Reply
:icontubi4:
tubi4 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2018
Welcome :)
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:iconobelis:
Obelis Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Aunts who don't notice anything are the best kind of aunts. :XD:

They were both suffering... such a relief to clear this up.
Reply
:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Indeed :XD: I'm glad I kept that in... the original had that too x'D

It really is omg @_@ I put a lot of my childhood into this lmao.
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