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About Varied / Hobbyist Premium Member Vivienne WaltzerFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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Hello There~


Favorite Artwork


Aunt Drusilla by Vivyi

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Netheron Sneak Peek

Wed Oct 8, 2014, 8:10 AM
EDIT: I am editing this to sound more professional. I apologize for my unprofessional intervention put in between here... while my feelings rang true, I feel it is undesirable of me to write about it in this particular journal, so I will save it  for another day.

EDIT #2: I will be editing this as I go on in my adventure. I will leave the sneak peeks up, until the day I submit the prologue. I am nearing  the time as I go along. All that is left to do is prepare the pictures one by one. 

Read Netheron related content:

A letter to the Princess

A Letter From the Princess

Tea Time

Simple Secrets


Netheron Related Art:

Aunt Drusilla

Master of the Sky

Shattered Memories

A Victorian Tea Party

The Back Story of Netheron


The time is nearing for the chapters to be released.

A picture.. namely  A Victorian Tea Party has been released. This is the picture found in chapter 2, and is the only picture found in that particular chapter. I am up to chapter 4, though I am skipping the other pictures for now. As of this new edit, I have just finished chapter 6's artwork and will send it off tomorrow for editing. 

Here is a list of some of the things I have edited for my story. Starting from the older version and working my way up. I hope you understand the level of work I put into this. It is a very complicated project, that I hoped I handled well.

V3 Netheron

  • Victorian dialogue was added
  • Estelle's inventions became more steampunk with a slice of sci fi
  • Esmeralda's dialogue was changed to sound less like an average villain and more like someone who is sinister yet troubled
  • Estelle is more likeable, she is a princess who is tarnished by her own reputation
  • Plot changes, mostly with witches. Reason behind the revolution killing Estelle's relatives. (There wasn't one before)
  • End of story edits (changing how the characters react by the end of the story, from a so called happy ending to a more frazzled, mixed up ending- it will (hopefully) make the reader care for Estelle and her becoming, if not make them feel sorry for her.
  • Mae is more courageous instead of a scardy cat all the time. (This was a huge problem because she's the main character, and she needs a character  change by the end of the story.  We'll see how this new part reads. )
  • This story, as I thought before had a meaning, has no lessons to be had. If there were a lesson, it wouldn't be here.


V6 Netheron

  • More backstory is explained. Working more towards Mae's feelings about Estelle.
  • Otto gets a little more love, but still needs some improvement on his personality.
  • Smoothed out most of the story, made it sound very narrative and worked on the voice of the story.
  • Read "On Writing" by Stephan King. Went crazy with corrections of sentence fluency, making things sound better and less childish. His book really helps, I recommend a read!
  • Fixed metaphors to make them sound better. Created more unique metaphors in the process, namely ones that can relate to the story.
  • Worked with plot holes, fixed all of them. Now the story reads smoother.
  • Created more visual pictures, keeping in mind how the characters feel and act.
  • Major dialogue improvements, namely riding of unnecessary dialogue.
  • Formatted the story to fit into a 6 by 9 booksize. Now it's over 100 pages.
  • Followed Stephan King's formula of "2nd Draft = First Draft - 10%"

Here is a list of information regarding the book other than the story itself.

  • This book is going to be self published.
  • Only 24 copies will be avaliable, and of them, 12 are going to people in my real life, if not more. 24 is what I can afford.
  •  The length of the story is roughly 120 pages long in an 6" x 9" format.*
  • There are roughly going to be 15-18 pictures.
  • A picture usually takes me only a day to complete, if I work at least 3-4 hours on it.
  • I am thinking of self publishing under the name "Vivienne Waltzer" instead of my real name.
  • Let me clarify:  The price for me to buy the books is over $100-200 for 24 copies.  if the price is 200, divide 200 (if that is the price) by 24, you get $8.33. Double that, you get $16. That would be the price of the book. However, because I'm not a cheapskate, $16 dollars would actually be $15 or $13 dollars, $1-3 dollars less than usual. I could go higher than 16, and make it $20, but that would be unfair for you guys. I could go lower than $10 but that would be unfair for me, because I would be essentially making the money I spent on the book worthless. But either way, this book is still cheaper than an art book, which mostly cost around 30-40 dollars because it is laminated and very nicely done. This book will be nice too, just using cheaper materials.


*I recently laid it out for the book size it'll be. It's a lot more than I thought it would be, and it will have a spine.

I don't think I'll be making a ton of money to be honest, but I do it for the love of writing (and art). Perhaps all of my friends and family will want to buy copies, and there is one person online that wants a copy. There was at least 3-4 people willing to buy copies from me in real life and online. I promise it won't be overpriced, because I am not a cheapskate.



Netheron Sneak Peek


Pictures of the characters in question:

Estelle Mari Violetta (Villain / Secondary Character)

Evette Mae Victorine (Main Character)

(I'm aware their names are similar, these pictures were linked above)

Prologue Bits:

A drop of water filled the land.

 One splash at a time, the revolution was spun into nothing. Soldiers be stilled; the land was yearning. Yearning, for just one drip of water. One drop. A whole mountain full. Anything. Anything at all...

 The drop of water that was received accumulated to one quart. Then... nothing. Absolutely dreadful; be stilling nothing. The cocky princess ahead of them stayed silent, but inside; her heart trembled. She watched from the tower.

 “Your people don't get the nutrients you deserve, until you cease the revolution.” She coldly proposed. “Taking me down is not the answer. I answer... to no one.”

 “Princess Estelle, this madness has to end!” the great lady of the town exclaimed. “Our drought is maddening, it is crippling our people! Has power made you mad?”

 The princess sighed. She turned her head the other direction and cocked her head to the side. “In time, all this will end. I promise. Please, end the revolution.”

 “The revolution will end,” Alexander told her. “It already has ended. But it will only rise again for various reasons! Don't you understand? Our land has become mush— we need a helping hand. Your majesty, I demand you turn on the rain machine!”

 


Chapter 1:


It all began with a young girl... and a young boy.

 “Yes mother, I understand!” shouted a girl from the distance. “Don’t freight, mother! I am willing to run a few errands! Alright! Okay! Good day!”

 The argument between her step mother and her only seemed to grow with impact. The girl sighed stubbornly, tired of being housed inside. Her mother hadn't allowed her outside the house in weeks, blaming it on severe weather.

 “I don't talk to strangers, mother! Please wish me blessings for the road home,” the young girl told her.

 “Evette—”

 “My name is Mae!” she stubbornly shouted.

 “Mae, dear, yes— well… may your journey be safe, Mae. Do be careful,” her mother explained.

 “Certainly!” Mae stubbornly left.

 The door slammed. Mae made her way outside for the first time in a while, taking a breath of fresh air in what seemed to be ages. She stared at what appeared to be the town Netheron, becoming breathless, stopping just to feel the sand beneath her shoes. The sand felt dry and hot, but it was darker than night. It rumbled under her toes as she stood, corresponding with the appearance of the red sky. In different parts of Huerta there were different colors of the sky because of its unique ecosystem, but theirs had quickly changed from purple to red because of a need for rain. The mystical earth would think it impossible, but this was never earth.

 Mae continued walking.


EDIT #3: These parts were largely unedited throughout the entire story, so here is a chapter bit where it has been largely edited.

Chapter 2:

Surely, the crossbow would be a better tactic than the gun. Or the knife. Mae could never tell Mr. Monette, how she faired at crossbow training in her school. The only girl in her class, she knocked everyone out of the water with her simpleminded accuracy, causing an eruption of teasing from the male class. Mae simply found the teasing to be deadening, so she ate lunch alone in the hallways of her school and decided friends were simply better left out than not. Drusilla always prepared her for the worst of situations and never the best, and always taught her to be a simpleminded individual, and proceed to make the best out of everyone’s supreme hatred for her actions. Sometimes Mae wondered if she had resorted to this by her complex nature, but Drusilla was far likeable and well known, so Mae figured it was a flaw in her system.

Estelle by far, after all, had set the worst possible example for the fate of Netheron. What she could have possibly done to her land, and what she had done, was far worse than any of Mae’s solitude and sudden isolation. Mae absolutely disliked her, for Estelle hated everyone. Estelle couldn’t possibly feel favorable for anyone but herself.

As she thought of these things, she geared her crossbow towards the center of the target. She locked onto it, pulling the gear to launch it…

“Ms. Victorine!” Shouted a voice.

The arrow hit the side and spun upwards, rising up and then solidly hitting the ground with a thump. Mae turned to her onlooker, glaring at what appeared to be an innocent looking Otto, with a cheesy looking smile on his face. Otto, whom purposely trifled her, snickered with a gleaming grin.

“My, Ms. Victorine. Might I say you look ravishing today,” he proclaimed. “You’re quite the shot.”



That is all for now. See you soon!~


  • Mood: Content

My Characters!


Comments


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:iconseika:
seika Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you so much for the fav :3

:iconcutehiplz:
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :)
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:icontheunsungtrouvere:
TheUnsungTrouvere Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist
Thanks so much for the favourites! :D
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! I like your Elder Scrolls characters. :)
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:icontheunsungtrouvere:
TheUnsungTrouvere Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist
Thanks so much! ^ ^
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem. :)
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:iconlauramizvaria:
LauraMizvaria Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fave!Favorites Icon 3D 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :)
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:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the favorite :)
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are very welcome! :D
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